If you’ve been reading my work for a while, you know I’m a Virgo. And if you know Virgos, you know that a few things are true about us:
We are impatient. If you say you want to meet at 2:00 pm, and it’s 2:03 pm, I’m already digging around for an email explaining your tardiness. When 2:05 pm arrives, I’m sending you the email asking if we’re still meeting. And if 2:10 pm comes and goes, I’m dropping off the call and will catch you next time (or not). This isn’t because I’m unkind or generally intolerant. It’s because in Virgo Land, one minute is like five. Keep that multiple going to understand why ten minutes late feels like forever. And, hello, there are other things I could be checking off my list!
We are perfectionistic. Not about everything, but about the things we care about most. In my new book You Are Before the World, I tell the true story of my publishing journey with The Waymakers. I share how I wanted to make a bestseller list and didn’t. How I threw a grown-up temper tantrum in my kitchen and my husband had to set me straight.
We want to do things “right.” This one is a close cousin to perfectionism but not exactly the same. “Doing things right” is a mix of rule-following, being a good person, and keeping our word. Nothing makes me more angsty than when I’ve promised you something by a certain time, and I can’t deliver. My clients know it is extremely rare for me to miss a deadline, even for things that aren’t very important. If I say you’ll have a thing by Monday, you will have the thing. And if I’m late because I was waiting on someone else to do their thing before I could do mine, I get frustrated with that person. But I don’t show it, because that’s not nice. See how this works?
Why am I telling you all this?
Well, because I told everyone and their mother that You Are Before the World would be available for preorder by December 1st, and it won’t be, but for good reason.
While I’ve had amazing partnership from my agent’s media group, this is my first time self-publishing. I shared with my partner that I wanted to enable preorders by December 1st. Based on the realistic timeline they previously laid out, we could accomplish this by uploading first pages (the typeset book before proofreading and other editorial checks) to the publishing platform the week before. Theoretically, you would then update the files closer to pub date, and the corrected books would ship.
But…there’s always a risk that books could be sent out earlier than the pub date, which is what happened with The Waymakers. We ran a tight campaign leading up to its release, with PR and everything, and I began receiving photos from friends with my book in their hands two weeks early. Because this happened with my last book, I’m admittedly uncomfortable “publishing” unfinished files. (See Virgo trait 2!)
So, I decided the best course of action is to wait until the typesetter incorporates our requested changes and updates the files. Then, we will upload them. Then, I’ll approve them and they’ll be sent to bookseller sites. Then, you’ll be able to preorder You Are Before the World. When it’s truly ready.
I thought about announcing a new date, like December 15th, which feels reasonable, but I’m not going to do that. Because if the link is live by December 8th, I want you to order it then!
I’m choosing to go with the flow this time—to avoid stressing myself out with imaginary deadlines or an obsession with being the “best” anything. I’ve already achieved something really important to me. I wrote an honest book that I believe will shed light on the darkness many of us are seeing and experiencing. A relatable work that offers pathways to wholeness for people who feel overwhelmed and under-appreciated. A mirror that will help those who read it feel seen and less alone. I’m grateful for the opportunity to share my voice and my experiences with you. It’s a privilege.
This season of acceptance is about doing what I can do to the best of my ability. Controlling the controllable. Being grateful for what I have and am able to give. And finding peace with the rest.
I pray You Are Before the World is the loving reminder you need in this era. And I trust that when it gets it into your hands, it will be on time. It will be perfect. And it will be “right.”
With love and gratitude,
Tara Jaye Frank